Christine Carter

Overview

The Sweet Spot is very much a typical American self-help book. I read this as the result of a TED talk about the formation of simple but powerful habits; this resonated. Presumably it was the publisher’s suggested subtitle: “hot to accomplish more by doing less”. It was a good choice; it certainly appealed to me. 

In summary the book is about recognising what your sweet spot is, then identifying and cultivating  habits to get into that zone. Much of it is about stress, the modern day factors that cause that stress, and how to live happily through managing those factors. Carter draws from her own personal struggle of losing, then recovering her groove. In the culture of overwork, increasing effort is backfiring. Too many are sabotaging their own potential and burnout has reached epidemic proportions: a recipe for illness and misery.

The opposite of constraint and constriction is the feeling of flow – the taste of freedom and strength: a sweet taste perhaps. The underlying premise comes from what Carter says, ‘We find our sweet spot by understanding the architecture of our minds and the biology of ease. We change our lives for the better when we use tactics that flow with our brain and physiology, not against them.’’ (pxxv) So, recovering your groove comes from going along with your natural flow; not fighting it.  ‘When we use our brain’s natural ability to run on autopilot, we let habits bear the burdens that we’ve been hoping willpower would shoulder’ (pxxvi)

Much of The Sweet Spot is about tips for dealing with life’s little problems. A deep-dive into all the chapters is not relevant, although the ideas that underpin the Sweet Spot and how they translate to a wider scope will be given a brief treatment. The book comes in five parts that can be absorbed independently, but I found that it was a good idea to read it as a whole, then go back to the bits that piqued my attention.

The concepts covered are: 

• Turning exhaustion and anxiety into productive and creative energy.
• Habit cultivation so that we can run on autopilot.
• Clearing away the clutter that eats our time and energy.
• Creating healthy relationships and mending broken ones.
• Tolerating discomfort in pursuit of mastery.

The tips are practical and stem from the author’s experience, explained with a little psychology. Chrisine Carter is one of those PhDs who has gone down the popular pundit route. While her work reflects the positive psychology of Seligman or Csikszentmihalyi, the academic aspect is downplayed making the book easier to read for a needy audience. The Sweet Spot overlaps considerably with other titles in the self-help genre. In a sense, self-help is a translation and compilation of psychological science into a more digestible and personally applicable form. 

Dissection

Having read self-help extensively, much of this material was familiar. However part 2: “switch autopilot on”, was of particular interest as I have done many experiments on myself on forming new and beneficial habits while eliminating the detrimental ones. Sections of the book such as easing the overwhelm, cultivating relationships, divergence from the toxicity of cultural norms, and putting meaning into your life, are, of course also important for the individual, The formation of habit and mastery seem to be the crux of the book (for me at least). 

The stress/success tipping point

Stress, anxiety, burn-out, the limited opportunity to relax in the modern fast paced society are both widespread and well acknowledged. This lifestyle is in contrast to the idea of living in the sweet spot, where we are at ease and our perceptions widen as we don’t have to be preoccupied with some perceived threat. Both cases are of positive feedback (in the cybernetic sense) as they are self-perpetuating and self-reinforcing. There comes, however, between the two, a tipping point. Measured as a ratio of positive to negative emotions, this tipping point appears to be around 3:1. Switching from languishing to flourishing feedback loops is about changing the ratio, which either involves increasing the positive or decreasing the negative emotions (or a bit of both). Many psychotherapeutic frameworks and protocols have echoes of this sweet spot concept, as do certain philosophies. While Carter doesn’t give ways of reducing the negative, she offers three ways of increasing the positive. One way is simply shifting physiology (very Tony Robbins). The other two are more amenable to an algorithm: inducing and amplifying positive emotions. The emotional payback is what motivates action hence that ability to affect that payback intentionally offers reinforcement leverage in developing new automated habits.

Deliberately inducing specific positive emotions, which may not already be there, arbitrarily introduces pleasurable associations. There are many ways to do this which can be as simple as doing something that makes you happy: cultivating gratitude; finding inspiration and awe (ie creating context for exposure, dream about the future, a well formed outcome, visualised optimism, bliss out, meditation, mindfulness, do something interesting (context for exposure), dance laugh etc. Such actions lowers the stress hormones and raises beta endorphins

Amplifying existing positive emotions is about becoming more aware of the positive emotions that are already present, such as by Savouring (Fred Bryant) or “taking in the good” (Rick Hanson) who describes our minds as being like “teflon for the positive” and “velcro for the negative”. Taking in the good is a reversal, making the positive more sticky which can be summed up as: actively practice looking for the positive; really savour those experiences; then let it sink in.

Doing without trying

There is an internal battle of will: knowing you should be doing something but not having the ability to do that on a daily basis. Formation of a habit removes the need for effort and will power. A habit directs the basal ganglia and operates not through conscious deliberation (Charles Duhigg) but allows you to get into “flow”. At the heart of the advice is a kind of functioning known well to Contextual Behavioural Science – that established by Pavlov, Skinner and many others. The functioning is that of stimulus, response and reinforcement. In essence, habit formation is the process of willful self-conditioning. Self-conditioning is about selecting a desirable habit, associating it with some environmental trigger, then reinforcing that association and subsequent behaviour through rewarding oneself in a way that makes the desired behaviour come easily when the trigger is experienced. It is dog training 101 – but on yourself! 

A useful aspect of this is that the brain starts craving the reward and will attempt to invoke the habit, when triggered, to try and get it. On re-reading this chapter, after doing a habit formation experiment, I wanted to see what would happen if I deliberately said I would not do the specified habit I had been forging (just wiggle my feet when my morning wake-up call went off). My brain kind of said “great that worked, I managed not to do that thing – I might as well do that thing now.”; that feeling of wanting to wiggle my feet was quite difficult to suppress (however irrelevant) as it felt as if there was something missing if I didn’t. Notably, at this time of editing, some months on, and having changed my wake up time, it still feels right to do that when the morning news comes on.

Cracking the Habit Code (a bunch of tips)

The next section is about how habit formation is achieved and is framed as one of those 21 day programmes; described through 21 tips. Carter concedes that the 21 day thing is something of a myth, but employs the trope to break-down the principles into a more digestible format. Set out as a series of tips, at first sight, this approach seems more like an ad-hoc bundle of life-hacks with no particular sequence. It took a few re-readings to understand why they were ordered in such a way, and that they were intended to introduce a new habit into an existing routine. Carter’s prime example being that of building an exercise schedule into her daily-life.

The tips do seem to cluster (even if they are not presented in that order) and a  few key tips stand out. I won’t necessarily go through the tips as presented, but rather point them out according to how they seem to be clustered, thereby putting them into a coherent framework (the tips are numbered with a # mark).  Those familiar with concepts such as the Deming cycle, and variations thereof, should see the resemblance.

Expectations & plans

The tips are premised on incorporating a new habit into an existing daily routine. Preparation then, includes identifying that existing routine, managing expectations, and preempting sticking points.

So, building new habits into a daily routine, in Carter’s system, first requires comprehension of that existing pattern (#1 Sketch a draft of your whole routine). This should provide a picture covering from when the overall routine actually starts, which could be well in advance (ie spotting events from the previous evening that influence the following morning’s energies). The principle adopted is not about making conscious decisions but rather that of following a routine as if on autopilot. New habits are installed as automated subroutines into the present pattern. 

The overall routine then, consists of shorter sub-routines, each with their own triggers and rewards.  Hierarchical decomposition of routines into their component sub-routines is a term widely used in computer programming – introducing willful automation into your life is not dissimilar to programming, except you are the one choosing which actions to make a habit or not. Doing this decomposition on behavioural routines (#2 Identify the mini-habits within your larger routine) gives a clear image of behavioural patterns and how they flow from one into another. Within such patterns, the completion of one behaviour often serves as the trigger for the subsequent habit. The resulting image of existing mini-habits is useful for considering what is beneficial, what might change, and what new habits to introduce into a behavioural programme. Some of these mini-habits stand out as being what Carter calls “keystone”: they cause a downstream chain reaction, whereby small things present major consequences (#4 Look for “keystone” mini-habits) either beneficial or detrimental. A simple thing can be leverage for big change, or having that simple thing interrupted can throw everything out of kilter. With an understanding of the pattern of routines, then the downstream impact of “keystone” mini-habits can be appreciated. It may be that establishing a new keystone habit would facilitate desirable consequences (Carter’s example being that getting into the habit of turning the PC off at 9:15pm had the downstream effect of making it easier for her to engineer her morning routine). 

Attempts to change habits must overcome a raft of barriers; these are what make such shifts notoriously difficult. Some of the obstacles are foreseeable (others are not). By anticipating the hurdles that are going to arise (#5 Play offence), it becomes possible to draw up contingency plans and steer the programme back onto course when the inevitable problems do crop up. When caught in the thick of it and the will is depleted, then the easy path, one that defies the desired pattern, is tempting. At such a point, it is not about resisting temptation, but rather about already having the desired pattern pre-configured such that that is the easy path (#11 Pre-decide as much as possible). A context where the new behaviour is appropriate can be created in advance. Furthermore, it is wise to have contingency plans to deal with the “what ifs”: situations that come up that interrupt the intended pattern. A seemingly trivial mini-habit, if missed out, could derail the wider routine. Hence, some habitual check would be advisable in putting things back on track.

Among the expectations is that of “failure” (#18 Expect failure). Change and challenge go hand in hand so lapse or relapse are very likely to occur.  Failure or success, when presented with a situation where you may want to stop, is actually down to how you respond to the situation: whether you actually stop, or rise to the challenge. Anticipating that there will be many times that you might want to stop serves to reframe such events as merely being temporarily off course and needing steering back. One problematic response to a challenge, that could lead to failure, is thinking, “I might as well carry on with the undesirable behaviour today, as I can always start again with the programme tomorrow.” This is called the abstinence violation effect (#19 Beware of the “what the hell” effect) that might occur when a routine is broken. The attitude of resuming tomorrow while letting things slide now becomes an ever more slippery slope. The same little hiccup is likely to happen again tomorrow leading once more to “what the hell!” The effect becomes more probable with each lapse as it is acting as permission to go back to the bad old ways. Perception of the locus of control is both the problem and the solution here. An ability to respond (literally having responsibility) is the capacity to deal with what occurs. Attributing a slip to some to underlying addiction or disease, or some personal fundamental weakness such as a lack of willpower, where that is not actually the problem, abnegates responsibility. Again, it is a kind of permission to fail, as the slip was “not your fault”. Alternatively, directing attention to external or situational factors that triggered the lapse, ones that you can either control or respond to (e.g., high-risk situations, coping skills, and outcome expectancies), enables you to grab the reins and a quick return to the goal (perhaps of abstinence) rather than “losing control”. Consequently, when establishing a new habit, expect that routine can quite easily be broken, but that it is within your responsibility and control to steer it back onto course. This attitude gives you much more power to choose your behaviour.

Environment

Much of behaviour is a response to a situation, context or environment. Facilitating any change, such as fostering a new habit, is often a case of creating an environment where change can occur easily. This involves understanding the current situation in order to set up a conducive context for the habit to be introduced. Carter’s application of this process is about  installing a new behaviour into a current daily routine. She recommends employing existing triggers for the new habit (#6 Identify your trigger). This involves taking time to simply notice what happens, when, and under what circumstances. Through becoming consciously aware of a recurring pattern of events, then consistent triggers, rather than unpredictable ones, can be repurposed as stimuli that could act as potential triggers for the new habit.

The brain seeks its dopamine hit. To get a new habit to stick, then a really rewarding reward will help – preferably a reward that is immediate or already built into the routine (#7 Designate intrinsic rewards). A new habit may be intended to have long term benefits, but may be taxing and therefore off-putting in the moment.  Rewards can be obtained simply by making things more fun. Carter describes the “Yay me!” mental victory dance for every mini-habit in a routine, which gives sufficient a dopamine hit to want to repeat that habit.

Other people are a strong social determinant of success. A change in one part of the social system (the new habit) will have a knock on effect on other parts and other people. Others, however, may not welcome disruption and seek to restore the status quo. Turn detractors into supporters (#16 Gather your cabinet). Here, it may be that the social network needs to be influenced, and if not, then a more conducive social network might be sought.

Build

Given the plan, environment, expectations and contingencies then the new habit can commence and be built upon.

Much of the personal development literature does advocate impressive large goals, but it also emphasises that they need to start off small. Carter goes further to suggest ditching ambition completely (#3 Now, throw ambition out the window); actually, this is more of a psychological trick. Obviously, you will still be intellectually aware of the bigger picture, but turning intellectual aspirations into actual behaviour requires willpower and the point here is about fostering autonomous habits rather than force of will. There may be a few good days willing through difficulties. But when the novelty wears off or when the going gets tough then the lower mind freaks out; the willpower wanes; and you will want to default to the previous easy option. There is a tendency to skip, and eventually forget the effort completely. In such cases, big ambitions lead to big failures, which act as punishment, putting up resistance, and reinforcing the view that trying is futile. Small successes at the beginning, however minor, are better than big failures; they are reinforcing and bypass the expense of intellect, effort and willpower, and little resistance is put up. The advice is to start, not with a routine, but with a simple behaviour that takes less than thirty seconds. You still get the reward and with the aim of starting to form the groove  (neural pathways) upon which to build and nothing more.

Scientifically collecting and processing empirical data about habits would seem to counteract the idea of making things easy, as recording requires significant effort. Carter does not seem to mean this. Rather, she is saying that the act of monitoring, however rudimentary, is more about raising self-awareness; about recognising both good and bad habits (#8 Measure your progress). Monitoring is about increasing the frequency of feedback and in doing so, also provides a trigger that nudges the mind back onto the job. Simple monitoring, is of course, in itself, a habit that can easily become part of the wider routine and serve as a keystone mini-habit for other behaviours.

There is only a finite amount of willpower available and using it in one area depletes it in all others. However, willpower can be built like a muscle: building it in one area increases its strength in others (#10 Build your willpower muscle). By focusing on one small thing, one mini-habit, then willpower can be built up that generalises to other areas. Given a totally unambitious starting point; a simple habit will come automatically without thinking or having to try. When this occurs, you can slowly increase a parameter (where appropriate) such that expansion comes with ease (#17 Expand (really, really) slowly). Too much of a stretch could risk push-back which could prove demotivating. Obviously you are driving in the habit, expanding in your desired direction, and demonstrating to yourself that you can do it, but moreover you are getting into the habit of expanding as the desire to improve is reinforced by its own rewards.

Rest 

The restorative effects of resting enable better control and adoption of new habits. When placed under stress then clear minded thinking is diminished. Taking the safe route at least reduces additional stress. Unfortunately, the safe route adopted in an attempt to avoid further stress, often defeats any beneficial intentions. Here, it is the stress that is the problem; preemptive stress management (#12 Comfort yourself) puts the breaks on the stress response and allows for clear headed action. 

Sleep deprivation increases stress and depletes brain glucose and subsequently the ability to think clearly. Therefore, establishing new habits requires adequate sleep (#13 Take a nap). Similarly, in starvation mode, basic survival asserts its needs and is not conducive to self-control. The brain requires glucose and water to run, hence good nutrition and hydration are of key importance (#14 Take teatime).

Obstacles and relapse

Some sticking points can be foreseen and contingencies set up in advance. Many problems may still occur. However, knowing that shifting habits isn’t necessarily a smooth process, allows for corrective measures to be taken when problems invariably do crop up. The maintenance of a new habit, in the form of a feedback loop, overlaps with both the fields of cybernetics and mastery (from positive psychology as covered later in Carter’s book).

Self-sabotage can occur through the “Licencing effect”. Carter says, “virtuous activities entitle us to partake in less-good activities” for example, reward dieting with a cream cake. The thing being denied is still seen as rewarding, but rewarding the accomplishment of abstinence with that which is denied is defeating. Carter suggests reflecting on goals and values that underpin the change (#9 Fight self sabotage), eg. weight loss and health, rather than accomplishment itself. By doing so, self-reinforcement (i.e. rewards) can be selected that align, rather than sabotage, the deeper intent of the new habit.

Changing a habitual pattern often involves inhibiting one behaviour while exciting another. The problem in stopping the old behaviour by saying “No!” is that it becomes forbidden fruit – it is wanted all the more (#15 Never say never). Rather, you can appease your inner chimp by saying “yes!”, but actually doing some other behaviour that is incompatible with the old one.

A plan is really a draft idea of how to do something, and one that demands constant revision as difficulties emerge or as new insights come to light on how to do things better and more effectively (#20 Regroup, revise, and double down). Various hiccups and sticking points will become apparent, as will opportunities to improve logistic ease and make tweeks. This kind of feedback often goes by the name of learning.

Disruptive events may have a more severe impact on habit formation, seemingly thwarting the effort altogether as a failure. But the “failure into feedback” philosophy simply reframes any disruption as a learning point (#21 See relapse as an opportunity to begin again, stronger) – merely as a relapse and an opportunity to make further adjustments. But a relapse does not reset things back at square one – some learning has occurred and new habit formation is actually better progressed so you can resume from where you left off.

Making Hard Things Easy

Carter exemplifies Mastery as being the most pure example of hitting the sweet spot (as per the title of the book) which is the intersection between strength and ease. With mastery we do not consciously direct our efforts; we perform it automatically. Mastery is not a matter of being  gifted or having innate talents. For Carter, it is about grit, practice, and coaching. 

The sweet spot then, is about mastery, about doing without trying, as attained through habit formation. The three factors above are integral to her tips of cracking the habit code.

Having Grit is about pursuing long term goals and learning from mistakes. When we are not at our sweet spot, grit provides the ability to return to it. Grit, then, is about effort directed towards skill development and differentiates between mere capability and the mastery of making something look easy. Such directed effort consists of practice, passion and persistence.

Mastery is not achieved through dabbling, but rather, deliberate and consistent practice to reach a specific objective, usually a skill level beyond the current one. This often involves driving in a micro-skill: the same small chunk done again and again. Furthermore mastery is not about a quick superficial learning but rather is acquired over the long haul much like by Gladwell’s 10 yr rule in Outliers.

Motivation is critical, but it is a particular form of motivation that is important to mastery. External or social pressures to attain money, prestige, and other symbols of success are superficial and such motivation easily runs out. On the other hand passion stems from intrinsic motivation; it is internal and personal and fuel for the long-haul needed to attain mastery. When we pursue something we love, rather than something hollow, it makes us grittier, and more determined to attain it. 

Along with systematic practice, persistence is necessary for mastery, especially in the face of failure. While failure may be unpleasant,  post-traumatic growth comes out of what we make of failure: how we respond afterwards helps to develop grit. Adversity and failure are facts of life but stepping just outside of our comfort zones pushes us to greater mastery.

Rest: The perseverance required for mastery is  not about going on relentlessly and exhaustingly which causes stress, illness and underperformance. Perseverance involves the ability to strategically disengage, consolidate, and refresh for the next session. Good sleep is essential (top performers need more than usual) as it allows for more coordination and access and consolidates learning.

Coaches: Carter eschews innate gifts while suggesting mastery is about innate passion. However she goes on to say that that passion is often ignited by some external experience and often by other people. These other people can also fan the flames through the act of coaching in all its forms. They can show us where to put our efforts; see our weak spots. Accepting coaching is difficult as we often deny failings – denial is often accompanied by defensiveness, blame in order to preserve self-esteem (temporality).

Try swapping self-esteem for self-affirmation. Self-esteem comes from telling ourselves that we are wonderful – even in the face of evidence to the contrary. Self-affirmation comes from remembering and acknowledging what we truly value – the things “that constitute our true self” …this is a form of mindfulness, not of our temporary thoughts or feelings but of our core identity, values, and self. There is a difference between mastery and perfectionism. Perfectionism is driven by fear. The fear of failure undermines performance; avoids challenges and conceals mistakes; inhibits the ability to hear constructive criticism; and cripples the ability to learn. It leads to discontent, frustration, disappointment, even “success” cannot be enjoyed. Mastery, in contrast, is persistence without being perfectionistic – the ability to risk, even embrace, failure. Pursue mastery comes out of passion not fear.

The western world chases culturally conditioned values of money, fame, sex, power, happiness, and success without stopping to think if this is what we really want. Carter asks, ‘Perhaps we aren’t directly chasing fame or fortune; instead we pursue happy experiences … But will these pleasant or fun experiences make us feel that our life is, in the end, meaningful?’ (p227) Fulfillment, on the other hand, stems from the feeling that we matter, and the social meaning of our actions is a belief about our purpose, value, and impact.

There is a contrast of mindsets between the fixed and the growth (as noted by Carol Dweck). These mindsets are rooted cultural norms. They reside  in the belief that success is down to attitude; perhaps good genes; or that success is the result of willful development. These beliefs act, like placebos, as self-fulfilling prophecies. The fixed mindset leads to a stagnant identity: either you are innately good at something or not, and tends towards giving-up and “excusitis”. The growth mindset is dynamic allowing for improvement given the right strategies, coaching,and practice. In conclusion, Carter says, ‘… the way to chase meaning is to end the chase.’